Wilbur flies again

Up, up and away we go!

Yesterday was quite a momentous day for Team White. Wilbur and I went showjumping in public after a long break. Having had lessons over the past few months to regain my confidence, I decided to bite the bullet - or should that be flap my wings?
The clear round at Addington Manor EC was my chosen event. However, this came with its own challenges since it was the first time I had been back following my accident there two years ago when I fractured my back. However, everything was indoors, the staff are always helpful and they have a great canteen selling cake!
My determination to jump was definitely tested on the day with hail, snow, and high winds as I packed the lorry. But, I trusted my gut instinct - this felt right. My nerves were good ones - my butterflies were flying in formation!

We have lift off

Wilbur behaved impeccably. He warmed up beautifully and I snuck in a first round before friend and supporter, Dawn, arrived. Wilbur pulled me into every fence and although I had to check his enthusiasm on occasion, I felt very calm, and didn't fight him. It was such a wonderful feeling. And  the grounding and breathing techniques I'm learning with Dawn made a significant difference to how everything went.The fences were big enough for me on the day - at 75 cm I knew I wouldn't panic if I lost focus and our striding was lost. I could hear Wilbur shouting 'higher' as we flew round. My aim is to feel confident jumping 1 metre and Wilbur definitely needs a bigger height to back him off!
And, just to round off a brilliant day, I had to retrieve a glove I'd manage to 'throw' over the side of the warm-up area while taking off my jacket. An Addington staff member held my feet as I nose-dived over the kick boards to grab said glove, while Wilbur hid his head in embarrassment behind Dawn's back!

The canter we had felt fantastic! All photos courtesy of Dawn Bentley.

Kathryn is owner and director of Cathean Ltd Writing Services. She is a published medical and equestrian writer with a passion for creating compelling text in collaboration with her clients from pharmaceutical, healthcare and equestrian businesses across the world.

How NLP can improve your riding and help banish those competition nerves

Elizabeth Hough is a professional NLP Master Practitioner who runs her own coaching consultancy: Your Great Mind Coaching. Here, Elizabeth introduces NLP and gives us an insight into how it can be used to help improve your riding and confidence while competing. For more information about Your Great Mind and Elizabeth, please visit her website at: http://www.yourgreatmind.co.uk/. Elizabeth is a supporter of the Cathean Ltd Ian White Memorial Trophy and last year she very kindly donated a prize of an equestrian coaching session.

What is NLP?

N – Neuro: How we store and interpret information in our mind and nervous system.

L – Linguistic: How we use language (verbal and non-verbal) and the effect it has on us and other people.

P – Programming: How we develop and run the patterns and habits that are responsible for the behaviours we produce.

NLP is also fundamentally about the study of excellence. It’s about recognising where the differences lie between someone who is merely competent at what they do, and someone who excels. It’s a bit like having an ‘operating manual’ for the brain. It is the process behind how we think, feel and behave. It gives us an insight into ‘how’ someone produces the behaviors they do, and if that behavior is not working for them, we can use NLP to change that behavior. NLP is also fundamentally about the study of excellence. It’s about recognising where the differences lie between someone who is merely competent at what they do, and someone who excels. It’s a bit like having an ‘operating manual’ of the process of how we think, feel and behave. This provides us with insight into ‘how’ the player is producing the behaviours they do, and if that behaviour’s not working for them, we can use the manual to give us ways with which to change that behaviour.

In short, NLP is like an operating manual for the brain - it can be used to give the brain a new manual with a different set of instructions to achieve a specific goal.

At Your Great Mind we specialise in sports coaching, in particular for horse riders. As I have worked with horses in eventing yards and have competed, I understand the strong link between a rider’s mind and their performance. How we think and feel affects how we perform and act. In addition, our horses are perceptive and will pick up on our energy or thoughts, positive or negative. A great rider will leave personal issues on the ground e.g. a bad day at work, relationship issues, tiredness and mount with a neutral and relaxed mind. We are responsible for the training of our horses so if we send mixed and negative signals to them, by riding with our emotional baggage, they will respond as appropriate. Furthermore, they will remember that response in future sessions which can often result in riders having to take several steps backwards to undo the outcomes brought about by riding with a negative mind-set. NLP can help you to learning how to leave your emotional baggage on the ground and become a greater rider.

Unlike other therapies, NLP works with the unconscious mind not the logical conscious mind. All techniques are fully explained beforehand. The sessions are goal focused, concentrating specifically on what our clients want to achieve, but they are also relaxed and above all, fun!

Positive thoughts equal positive results.

Competition Nerves

Do you get great results at home but not at competitions? Most riders will experience nerves at competitions and that is normal. When you watch top riders, and sportspeople they refer to being ‘in the zone’. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to learn how to ride ‘in the zone’ at competitions and be in control of your emotions and nerves? Using NLP we can identify your personal triggers for nerves, and use a number of techniques, including anchoring and Time Line Therapy, to help you control your nerves and get into the zone.

Your Great Mind Case Study: Mrs X was an experienced rider, who had had time off eventing to raise a family. On her return to eventing,   she experienced high levels of self-doubt about her ability which affected her performance at competitions. Together, we worked on her self-belief and confidence by using anchors, which enabled her to associate experiences and feelings she had in other areas of her life where she felt confident and proud to riding at competitions. This was her ‘riding anchor’ and helped her to increase her self-confidence when competing. We also used hypnosis to re-build her self-confidence.

Nervous Riders

Photo courtesy of J Shearwood photography

We help nervous riders using NLP too. Loss of confidence doesn't always have to come from a crashing fall - the general ups and downs of life can take their toll on our confidence, energy levels, emotional state and motivation thus affecting our riding ability. When we start to address rider confidence, we often see a trickle effect into other areas of our client’s lives.

Your Great Mind Case Studies: Emma had experienced a bad fall from her horse and no longer wanted to ride. When we met she had sent her horse to be sold. We worked together to identify her short term and longer term goals and applied a number of techniques including Goal setting, Sub modalities, and Time Line Therapy.

As a consequence, Emma’s horse was moved from the sales yard to a livery yard and started to care for her again. We gave Emma a number of tasks to do as homework since the changes occur outside the therapy room too. These tasks included keeping a diary and grooming and lunging her horse. Emma also applied peripheral vision and an anchor she generated during one of her sessions. We set a timescale of two weeks to get her back in the saddle which she achieved! 

"I do believe that the sessions we had put me on the right path to thinking more positively. We have also made some changes and what a difference once your mind set is sorted! And I now believe that positivity breeds positivity.  Thank you for the start you gave me."

Chrissie, a rider who had lost her confidence so much she could no longer ride her horse. After applying a number of techniques including goal setting, anchoring, peripheral vision, fast phobia model, diaries and positive language enforcement, Chrissie is now enjoying her riding. Not only that, her confidence in other areas of her life has improved.

Home alone for Christmas

Nosing through a recent copy of Good Housekeeping, an article by bestselling author Marian Keyes caught my eye. She was describing her Christmas Day and how she and her hubby have bucked the trend to have a big family event. Instead, they and a couple of close friends go for a long walk, enjoying a picnic of turkey sandwiches and mince pies along the way. There is a lot to be said for taking a new approach to the festive period given the pressure many people find themselves under because of 'society expectations' at this time of year.

Three years ago I felt I needed to 'opt out' of the Christmas Day tradition, looking forward instead to chilling out at home. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against the big family thing, but so many people I speak to seem to get together with family because they feel they 'ought to, should do' - few seem to enjoy it! Whilst I have had some wonderful Christmas experiences en famille, after 20 years of being elsewhere for the big day, I wanted to do my own thing in my own home and not dance to someone else's tune. No matter how fantastic and welcoming your hosts are, there is nothing quite like being in your own place to feel truly relaxed.  Plus I get full control of the TV remote!

One of the reasons many people go along with tradition is because they fear the reaction of their nearest and dearest if they did their own thing. Indeed, Marian Keyes experienced this from her own family. I, too, have been on the receiving end of various reactions varying from 'go girl, wish I could do that too!' to concern - although, on further scrutiny, some reactions of concern are perhaps more a reflection of guilt on behalf of the giver who doesn't feel comfortable at the thought of me being home alone. So, I am grateful to my gorgeous partner and my family for being so understanding and supportive of my decision.

 

My experiences of spending Christmas Day alone have been positive. While everyone else is caught up in the frenzy of packing and traveling to relatives, or shopping til they drop to ensure every base is covered if hosting the day themselves - I appreciate the peace and tranquility that is found outside this media-hyped vortex. It is one day of the year when I  feel completely at peace and relaxed at home. And I'm not entirely alone - I have realised my childhood dream of looking after my own pony on Christmas Day. I love going out for a ride with my friends at the stables in the morning without the pressure of having to be anywhere afterwards. Having caught up on reading matter, or other household stuff, I walk back to the yard to settle Wilbur down for the night before heading home to the warm hug of Myrtle Cottage, with her open fire. I cook a roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings, which of course has to be shared with my stripey feline friend, Haribo, and I speak with friends and family on the phone. I haven't ruled out ever having Christmas elsewhere or with others, but for the moment this works for me.

A tribute

As in-laws go I fell on my feet. Most people moan about their mother-in-law, so I felt rather blessed with mine. Pam and I not only shared a love of her son Ian, but all things equestrian. And it was our passion for horses which brought us some of our best times - not to mention a few giggles. In memory of you, Pam, I share two of my favourite moments.

Speedy Gonzales

Pam and her beloved Guinea

Guinea was Pam's horse when I first met Ian. A beautiful chestnut gelding, he taught Ian to ride and gave Pam a lot of fun times. So, I was very privileged to be allowed to ride him from time to time. One weekend, Pam generously invited me to hack Guinea around the lanes. As I wasn't familiar with the area, she and Ian met me at various points en route to steer me in the right direction. At one particular place, we were able to ride along the wide grassy verge beside the A33 by-pass. "You can have a lovely canter here" advised Pam. Off we went in a wonderful steady canter - which got faster and faster - clearly Guinea had other ideas. It was at this moment that I wondered if my mother-in-law was a secret speed demon! The wind whistled past my ears as we swept along, chasing the cars beside us. I had no brakes, so all I could do was steer and pray. Up the steep bank by the bridge we scrambled with Guinea barely slowing down. As we reached the lane above, I inwardly groaned - a woman was enjoying a relaxing Sunday walk with her dog. Once more I tried to slow Guinea down but  Guinea was having far too much fun."Get out of the way!" I screamed to the startled lady. "I'm so sorry, I can't stop!" On we went until, by some miracle, Guinea stumbled on the uneven ground just as we neared a junction. It ceased the opportunity and jumped off, somehow keeping hold of the reins. As my heaving breath subsided I heard a voice, "she should be here by now". It was Pam who was stood beside Ian looking in the opposite direction to where I was. "Over here" I squeaked, as my knees knocked together (yes they really can do that!). After making sure we were both alright, the 'inner BHS instructor' emerged as I was told to "get back on and walk him home", which I did (I'd read the BHS manual too). That tale has been regaled many times and I swear I've never been that fast before or since!

The Bells

Me, my mum and Pam at Charlton Park where I was grooming for Ian
hence the reference to Dobby the house elf from Harry Potter

It was Christmas time and Pam was taking her horse, Mulberry (who she bought following Guinea's sad demise) to the local riding club show. It was within hacking distance, and fancy dress. Ian and I stood by as Pam mounted - regaled in a festive red jumper bedecked with bells strung together by ribbon and wound loosely around her neck. No sooner had her bottom landed in the saddle than a startled Mulberry took off - up the orchard he went, bucking and bronc'ing at full pelt. Well, all we could hear was Pam shouting, "It's the bells! It's the bells!". Neither Ian nor I were of any use because we were both doubled up, with tears of laughter streaming down our faces. I don't know how she stayed on but, with a face now the colour of her jumper, Pam got Mulberry back under control, and that plucky lady resolutely took him off to the riding club show!

Pam, you were one very special lady to many people and you will be truly missed. Thank you for all the wonderful memories, and for the delicious picnics you made for Ian and I when we were eventing (your raspberry cream slices are legendary). I hope that you and Ian are now reunited and galloping side by side on your beloved chestnut horses.

Mindful hedge-cutting!

Work in progress

One Sunday morning I decided to put away the electric clippers and get out the hand shears to clip my hedge. This was partly out of respect for my neighbours (it was only 9am) but also because I quite fancied slowing the pace of life down after a busy week. Here are some advantages to 'mindful shearing':

1. My stripey housemate stayed with me rather than dashing off in horror when the electric clippers fire up.
   
2. It's safer particularly when balanced precariously on a step ladder - no electric lead to snip through (and yes, dear reader, I have done it!) or trip over.
3. I didn't have to waste time trying to unravel said electric lead because we all know that however carefully you put it away, some nasty 'flex goblin' ties it in knots when you're not looking!
4. You save money on electricity (you can take the girl out of the North.....).
5. I could actually hear the birds chirping and even enjoyed the organ playing hymns in the baptist chapel across the road.
6. I didn't spook any horses going past.
7. It was better for my back as the hand shears are much lighter BUT it was still a good work out for the bingo wings, which, as I get older, are more determined than ever to help me become airborne!
   

Relationships on a long rein - part 2

My coaches

Following on from Relationships on a long rein, Part 1, how did what Pam and I discussed translate when we worked with the horses?

We worked with Kid, a mare I’ve worked with before. Pam asked me to go over to Kid and approach her like I had approached the spirit horse in my meditation. I approached her in the paddock, fully aware, thanks to our earlier coaching sessions, to respect her personal space and be vigilant for any signals to say she didn't want me close. I felt I could get close enough to her for her to sniff my held out hand in greeting and then she walked away to the far corner of the field. In earlier sessions I would have taken this as a rejection, but this time I felt she was saying ‘come over here with me’. As if, like the spirit horse, she had taken me up on my invitation to fly. So I did, and we stood apart but companionably as she grazed. Every now and again she would lift her head to acknowledge me. I smiled as I realised this situation was mirroring exactly what I had described to Pam earlier about the shift in my relationship with Henry and my friends! It felt as if the relationship between me and Kid in this session was playful – as if that need for company or to be liked, that I had felt in previous coaching, had melted away. This coaching never ceases to amaze me and there is certainly no hiding your emotions - however deep - when horses are around!

Spirit Horse Meditation

Here I describe the story that unfolded in my head during the guided meditation with Pam of Equest Ltd (see my blog, 'Relationships on a long rein?') based on the illustrated card I picked from a selection she offered. All were of an equine theme, and one stood out in particular which initiated the story behind the meditation.

I walked towards Moose who stood in the field in Tring where I felt he had been at his most happy and healthy. The Moose who stood before me wasn’t of solid flesh although his body wasn’t transparent either - it was made up of sweeping lines of different colours -  oranges and yellows and white. The lines seemed to be transient, moving and shimmering in the sunlight. This was the spirit of Moose, he had come to take me on a journey. I knew that. 

As I walked towards him, he  reached out to me with his nose and I felt the warmth of his breath on the palm of my hand which I held out to him. I stroked his long beautiful arched neck. His coat was soft beneath my fingers, his body warm and comforting. He lowered his head towards the grass and I was suddenly flipped onto his back so I was sitting in the natural dip between his withers and quarters. I held onto a wisp of mane, the strands silky but strong. He started to walk. Each footfall taking us further up the hill, rhythmical and steady. Then, he moved into canter, a controlled collected canter and we moved as one as he rose up into the air. It was the most fabulous feeling – we were flying and instinctively he knew where I wanted to go. The air was flowing past us, gently brushing against my face as we moved towards our destination…..the bluebell woods. 

Gently we landed in a small clearing amongst tall trees which seemed to welcome us with their cloaks of waving green leaves. The vividness of the colours took my breath away – the striking bluebells amongst the green lush grass.  I slipped to the ground, landing on the springy woodland floor and then sat down. As I did so,  faces from my past, of people I knew both living and dead, encircled me as if I was in the middle of a large revolving cylinder. The faces changed and moved as the images flowed around me. They came in and out of focus, pure white lines, dancing and playing as if they were made out of smoke. My maternal grandma and granddad were amongst them,  long dead, but I have always felt their spirits with me. Other faces I didn’t recognise morphed into my vision, but I knew they were all there in this special place for me. Their love flowed over me as I sat there.  Emotions welled up inside and tears rolled slowly down my cheeks, but I felt calm, contented and loved. When it was time to leave, I put my arms around Moose's neck and inhaled the familiar, sweet smell of this darling horse. 'Thank you', I murmered into his long silken mane. As we flew back to his field, and the distance between us and that special place increased, I knew I would be back, that Moose would take me there whenever I felt the need for that love and support.